Also, if Buffy dying at this point had been the end of the series, I would not be such a fan. That's not a satisfying finish for me, not as the end to a hero's journey and certainly not a female hero's journey, since those stories are so rare.

This is exactly why I could never wish "The Gift" was the series finale. I do love it as an episode, and even as a season finale, but if the show ended with Buffy dying? No, thank you. It ends the show on a failure - Buffy saved the world again, sure, but for all that she was special and different, she still died in battle, just like every other Slayer before her. It negates everything Buffy represented as a feminist hero and a symbol of female power.

I think "Chosen" is actually worse on the sense-making front, but thematically, it's a much better ending to have Buffy overthrowing the patriarchal paradigm rather than succumbing to it.