hmm, now I just re-read it and in light of the fact that it was your first fic and I was your first commenter, I think you deserve more detail.
First, I love Buffy's thoughts about why she can't face her friends. Very stream-of-consciousness-y and probably the exact reasons that actual Buffy had to bail.
I like the description of the ocean, surfers, and oil rigs that Buffy sees while on the train. Great descriptive language and very cool contrast between her feelings and the beauty around her.
I also like how, in the dream, William sorta comes out for a second (though Buffy doesn't realize). I'd imagine that the William inside him is what's motivating him to a) start to fall in love with her, even then and b) help her in a situation like this.
The next thing that stuck out to me was Buffy realizing that she was a runaway. Very realistically done and also universal, in that I'd think almost every case would assume themselves unique and not realize that they fit the mold until later.
I also love the Spike in this fic, who is super sweet, but still in character. Very cute interactions with Al.
And, one last thing.. Good point about Hispanics on BtVS. I grew up in South Florida and if it's anything like Southern California, then there should've been a TON more Hispanic people. There were close to none on Buffy. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only person in Miami who isn't fluent in Spanish (and, even so, I got very close to a 'proficiency' score on the Spanish SAT subject test. *pride*).
So, there's the first review you ACTUALLY deserved. And I added you as a friend, for the hell of it. BTW.. I found this through a random (accidental) click on Unbridled Brunette's friends page. Your story was the first entry.
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branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2008-05-25 01:30 pm (UTC)First, I love Buffy's thoughts about why she can't face her friends. Very stream-of-consciousness-y and probably the exact reasons that actual Buffy had to bail.
I like the description of the ocean, surfers, and oil rigs that Buffy sees while on the train. Great descriptive language and very cool contrast between her feelings and the beauty around her.
I also like how, in the dream, William sorta comes out for a second (though Buffy doesn't realize). I'd imagine that the William inside him is what's motivating him to a) start to fall in love with her, even then and b) help her in a situation like this.
The next thing that stuck out to me was Buffy realizing that she was a runaway. Very realistically done and also universal, in that I'd think almost every case would assume themselves unique and not realize that they fit the mold until later.
I also love the Spike in this fic, who is super sweet, but still in character. Very cute interactions with Al.
And, one last thing.. Good point about Hispanics on BtVS. I grew up in South Florida and if it's anything like Southern California, then there should've been a TON more Hispanic people. There were close to none on Buffy. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only person in Miami who isn't fluent in Spanish (and, even so, I got very close to a 'proficiency' score on the Spanish SAT subject test. *pride*).
So, there's the first review you ACTUALLY deserved. And I added you as a friend, for the hell of it. BTW.. I found this through a random (accidental) click on Unbridled Brunette's friends page. Your story was the first entry.